40 winks? Forty? I would be happy with 10 winks, 5 maybe, hell, I’d be happy with one!!

I am going insane.

It is 5.30am and I haven’t been to bed yet. Why I hear you ask? Ten years ago my answer would’ve been somewhat different – coming back from a night out maybe, chatting all night with girlfriends, or waiting for a taxi back from central Birmingham having stayed till the moment the clubs closed their doors.

Not tonight.

Tonight I haven’t been to sleep yet because I appear to have bred a sleep ninja.

A sleep ninja who up until 4 months old slept like a dream, waking once a night and going 4-5 hours between feeds.

A sleep ninja who following a stint in hospital has been somewhat malfunctioning in the sleep department.

A sleep ninja who tonight has not slept for more than 30 minutes at a time.

A sleep ninja who has been thrashing and whinging in my arms, has not wanted to lie down at all, and for who even feeding to sleep has failed to work. When that fails, I’m all out of ideas.

At what point do you start to question whether there is something medically wrong with your baby or whether this is just normal? A growth spurt? Her 5th development leap? A reaction to teething? An allergic reaction to her mother?

*sigh*

I have just comeback upstairs (having taken her downstairs to avoid waking the whole house!), attempted to sneak back into bed and guess what? Sleep Ninja the First has snuck in whilst I’ve been gone. I have never been more jealous of a three year old.

So for now? I sit wide awake blogging in a nursing chair, whilst a FINALLY settled baby snores on my chest. Well done Neve, it only took 8 hours.

And today? Today I have to entertain two children on zero sleep whilst resisting the inevitable uprising of ‘shouty mummy’ again.

I will try and smile and laugh whilst my daughter sings the trolls theme tune or shows me the Big E in her spaghetti, when all I will want to do is close my eyes.

40 winks? Yep… I would be happy with one.

Lucy