I recently read about the sense of loneliness many women felt when they became a Mum, and could completely relate. The research published by the Co-op and the British Red Cross identified six key life events that can lead to someone becoming lonely, of which becoming a Mother was one.

Being a Mum for the 2nd time is far more lonely than the first. With my first I had a group of NCT friends all of whom had experienced our pregnancy journey together, and who’s babies were therefore of a similar age. We would meet regularly for coffee and cake, have play dates at each others houses and walk round the park in the sunshine. My cousin also had a baby 1 month younger than Erin, and I visited my Mum and Dad on a regular basis. This time around? Most of my friends have already had a 2nd child or are at work full time, and my funds don’t stretch as far from a part time salary to join parenting classes or groups. Being a winter baby too, the dark nights and dull days have meant a lot of time has been spent at home. My mum, who would have been around my house every other day without fail, is sadly no longer with us, and her absence leaves a massive gaping hole. Being a Mum without a Mum is tough.

Being a blogger essentially does help me feel a little less alone. Sure these ‘friends’ are virtual, and some wouldn’t even recognise me in a line up, but I have formed relationships with so many people across the blogging community – both fellow bloggers and mum readers alike.

However, today a 2nd report by US researchers revealed that Social Media could in fact, be making us even more lonely – the very opposite of what they were set up to achieve.

The psychologists found that the more time people spend online on platforms such as Facebook and Twitter, the more likely they are to feel cut off from the rest of the world. People who typically spend more than two hours online a day are doubling their chances of feeling isolated. Doesn’t bode well for me then does it??!

Some points I tend to agree with –

  • The more time people spend online, the less time there is for real life social interactions.
  • Comparisons of others ‘virtual profile’ can nurture feelings of self doubt and discontent.
  • Seeing images of friends enjoying themselves at an event you were not invited to may lead to a sense of exclusion – I do suffer from major FOMO (fear of missing out) so I struggle with this one a lot.

That said, I have also had some huge benefits from Social Media, without which I would definitely have felt more alone and isolated. When I was in hospital following Neve’s birth – two of my regular readers – Kezzie and Jo messaged me almost daily to see how I was getting on. I have never met either of them, but both Mums themselves, something resonated with them, and they reached out to offer support and empathy.

I love the power that Social Media has to bring people together, and I know for a fact I would feel incredibly lost without it. That said, I cannot wait till the start of Spring when we can get out and about more and have some more face to face interactions!

Do you feel lonely as a Mum? Does social Media help or hinder?