What quote currently defines your life?

If you had a sign to sum up your life right at this moment, what would it say?

Here is mine…

Over the last ten months I have spent a LOT of time in this chair – the chair I am sitting in now, phone in hand. The smallest chair I could find to fit in my daughter’s box room nursery, and a chair which is only just big enough for my ever increasing buttocks. I sit, uncomfortable, in this chair for approximately 75% of the night every single night – feeding, rocking and comforting my daughter on repeat. It is tough.

When I had my second daughter in September, I thought I HAD to be due a good sleeper. We had such a rough time with Erin that I promised myself Neve would be different – she would go to sleep on her own, not be rocked or cuddled and would learn to self settle.. we would not make the same mistakes again second time around. We were experts now after all! We’d been there, got the t-shirt!

10 months on and I am averaging about 2-3 hours sleep a night. As well as failing to follow my own ever so informed advice, Neves eating problems mean that breast milk is her best friend and as such my night shift starts from the moment she goes to bed. I’ve gone so far as to say I hate bedtime and there have been lots of tears – not just hers!

However my moaning about it has simply got to stop. Today I have had a strong harsh word with myself. Watching devastating news stories and texting a friend going for her 3rd attempt of ivf, I gave myself a proverbial slap round the face. Hard. I am LUCKY to be having no sleep.

Yes I am exhausted, yes I’ve probably aged about ten years in 10 months but I have the coveted title of Mummy, and have two gorgeous, intelligent, stubborn yet adorable children, and for that I am truly blessed. When I am old and grey and I look back on my life, I will remember these extra cuddles, the tiny fingers clinging on to my top, and the contented sighs of a sleepy baby in my arms. I will remember the time that Erin woke me up singing You Are My Sunshine at 2am and by her sneaking under my duvet for a snuggle.

I won’t remember what a wonderful sleep I had that one night in July 2017…

So this sign sums up my life. When times feel hard I need to remind myself that some of the best moments in life haven’t even happened yet, but I can sure as guarentee that a good night sleep won’t be one of them, however appealing they may seem.

Sticking it on the door right here wouldn’t be a bad place to start…

*This post is an entry into the http://www.smartsign.comblogger challenge*

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