You just need to persist“.

Those five words actually make me want to punch someone in the face. Two months into our dietitian journey and it’s fair to say that nothing has changed. No new foods, no miracle cure like I was hoping for a baby who is still as unsettled as ever. 

Neve is now nearly 13 months old and is yet to eat an actual meal. When asked what we can do to help her the message is always the same… ‘you just need to persist’. 

As much as I don’t doubt this is true, the very sound of those words builds up a little bubble of fury in my body.  Persisting is HARD. I’ve been persisting since she was 8 months old. I persist every single day.

I spend a fortune on food and snacks only for them to be wasted, and lay out a variety of bits to try and tempt her, only for Neve to bring out her ‘swipe left swipe right’ tactic that would make most tinder users proud. Within minutes, 90% of what is laid on her tray is littered on the floor around her. If I am lucky, a piece of sweetcorn will make contact with her lips for all of about five seconds before quickly being discarded. Give her a carrot she will play with it, a blueberry? Squash it. A green bean? Throw it. 

Has anything changed from my last post? No, not really. She’s had some massive changes in her life in recent weeks,  mainly me going back to work and with that her milk entitlements during the day drastically reducing. I was hoping reducing the amount of breast milk would make her more hungry during the day and thus more likely to attempt new things, but as of yet, this has made no change what so ever. Instead she gets through the day as normal, but pretty much pounces on me the second I walk through the door at 5.30pm and then catches up by feeding like a newborn all through the night..

We’ve faced sickness bugs, viral infections, blisters on her tongue with an unknown cause (probably from over suckling if the truth be known!) and copious amounts of amoxicillin, but still no breakthrough.

The result? A 13 month old who still lives on stage 1 purée and disolveable snacks and a Mum who is surviving on about 2 hours sleep a night as her baby breastfeeds like her life depends on it.  As much as I want the rest after a full day at work, I still hate bedtime.

I am tired of persisting. 

I am exhausted

Is this just another phase that she will suddenly snap out of? Who knows. Like most things in parenting, you never quite know whats going to happen. I hope that in a few months time I will be sharing a more successful instalment in our dietitian journey, but for now? Persist, persist, persist.

#yawn.