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I was due a good sleeper….

I was due a good sleeper….

I was due a good sleeper.

After 2.5 years off sleepless nights with my eldest, I assured myself that this time, with my second child, this time would be different.

‘All babies are different’, they said.
‘This one will sleep through from 6 weeks’, they said..
‘Well it can’t be any worse than it was with Erin can it?!’ they said

Except it turns out it CAN be worse: much much worse. When someone was dishing out the sleeping babies – I appear to have joined the wrong queue. The queue for insomniacs maybe, or those who like to live life through partially open eyes.

History is most definitely repeating itself, and here, in my sleep deprived slumber, and my 7th night of being awake deliberating life at 2am I can’t help but blame myself as the common denominator.

I have made the same mistakes all over again, failing to teach my my baby how to self settle – rocking, cuddling or feeding her to sleep and now? Now even milk is failing to have the desired effect.

I have vague recollections of those days pre children when I would get a solid 8 hours of undisturbed slumber, waking up with the ability to bounce out of bed ready for the day ahead of me. Today? I’m lucky if my bum makes contact with the bed sheets for longer than about twenty minutes. For the last week I have probably had no more than 2 hours sleep a night and I am broken.

I am broken and my baby appears to have decided that sleep is completely unnecessary. I am all out of ideas and I am officially falling apart!

At times it feels like I am the only person in the whole world awake. Z for Zachariah. It’s just me, awake, in a zombiefied post apocalyptic state with my baby. My baby who appears to like nothing more than staring at my face.

Send help, this mummy has malfunctioned.

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9 Comments

  1. melissa Abel

    I hear ya sister I really do! No advise, its shit, doesn’t last forever but that’s no help right now. Coffee, sympathy and someone who can look after baby in the day for an hour or more so you can sleep. It is literally the only way to get through it.
    Good luck
    #dreamteam

    Reply
  2. ohmummymia

    You know what I think? Sleeping is only for weak people:D My boy is 1 yo and I don;t remember when I was sleeping last time.
    #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  3. Helen @talking_mums

    Oh no! I had a good sleeper first time round so kind of expected that we’d have a bad sleeper second time round and sure enough he has us up numerous times in a night!!
    #marvmondays

    Reply
  4. Surrey mama

    Poor you I feel your pain, Amelie didn’t sleep for about 2 years in fact she still doesn’t very well! I’m not sure why we had another Anyway Evie sleeps a bit better but I still see us falling into the same traps. It will get better, it did for us-as someone else said sleep is for losers! Haha. Xx

    Reply
  5. Bridie By The Sea

    Oh lovely, I’m so sorry to hear this…I was reading the first paragraph wishing you had a sleeper! I know exactly how you’re feeling, Emma is the worst sleeper and at just over 2 years old, it feels so hopeless. Some days I am most definitely broken 🙁 Hope yours gets better soon! Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam xx

    Reply
  6. Angela Watling (Life, Motherhood and Everything)

    Argh, you have my sympathy. Is rubbish isn’t it. I somehow managed to ‘teach’ my daughter to self settle (although I’m not sure you can and they either do it or they don’t). But it didn’t stop her waking regularly. She’d go back to sleep with a sush. But she’d need sushing all. the. time. Chin up. It will pass eventually. Until then, buy a fancy coffee machine or tea pot! #MarvMondays

    Reply
  7. Em Linthorpe

    Aww goodness…this must be so tough on you. A bit of sleep can make all the difference when it comes to getting through the day. I really hope things get easier for you, and don’t blame yourself so much! Babies come in many types and quite a few of them don’t take to sleeping for a while #littleleaps

    Reply
  8. bETH

    Ah that is not fun! I wish I could give some solid advice, or wave a wand! Hopefully it will get better with time, I really hope it does! Saying that I just had to pause writing this comment half way through to go and retrieve my almost 3 year old who after putting back to bed numerous times I have given up and brought downstairs. Urgh.

    Reply
  9. Peachy and her Mommy

    I remember those nights. Luckily for me, Peachy is one of those great sleepers so I didn’t suffer long. I definitely got in the right line. I don’t sleep. I have too much to do. But that’s my own fault and not sleeping by choice is very different from not sleeping by demand. Sorry for the late comment. #FabFridayPost

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Lucy, a thirty something mum of two from Birmingham. A memory maker, tradition keeper, stationery addict and Mr Men fanatic. HR Advisor by day and sleep deprived Mama by night!

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