Holidays with the Grandparents – Pros & Cons

Holidays with Grandparents is a collaborative post

Holidays with grandparents, have you done them? It’s that time of year when I start thinking about our next family holiday. The days are long and gloomy and most days when I get home from work I am windswept, tired and lethargic. The thought of sun, sea and sand holds a huge appeal and for a while now, we have discussed the concept of taking my Dad away with us. Since my Mum passed away in 2014, my Dad has only taken one holiday abroad and he found it extremely difficult. He struggled with going solo, eating alone in restaurants and being surrounded by loved up couples where ever he went. He struggled with the familiarity of places he had been with Mum but was anxious going somewhere new, and as such, he found himself in a quandary where it has just become easier to stay at home.

Considerations for your family holiday

There are also a few extra added complications in that since Dad’s heart attack in 2009, he has to be a little more cautious about his travel arrangements. Travelling with a medical condition also means he has to be a little careful about the destination – making sure the flights aren’t too long (due to the increased risk of deep vein thrombosis), that the temperatures aren’t too extreme, and that there is nothing too strenuous when it comes to activity levels (not that he needs to worry about this one with me!). Managed properly, however, there is absolutely no reason why my Dad can’t still enjoy holidays abroad with his family, if only we could convince him to come.

There are obvious pros and cons to holidays with the grandparents, and therefore a few things to think about before we commit. These are my current thoughts.

Pros of holidays with grandparents:

• Companionship and conversation – one of the things I know my Dad misses the most is eating meals with other people. He lives at home alone for the majority of the week, and other than nights out and family dinners on a Sunday, the majority of his meals are for one. He loves the banter and laughter we have over the meal table, and being able to have someone to chat to whilst he checks out the local cuisine would be a real plus for him. From our perspective, taking Dad away with us for a holiday with grandparents also gives us time to talk and enjoy his company, away from the normality of everyday life at home, and he wouldn’t need to be the one cooking for a change!
• Making memories – my Dad loves spending time with the girls and often comments how much they have changed even if I haven’t seen him for just a week or two. They change so quickly at this young age, and Dad rarely gets to spend such a significant amount of time with them in one back to back period. Dad loves sharing knowledge, teaching the girls new things, and watching them learn, and with some of my fondest memories being of holidays with my Dad, it would be lovely to involve him creating similar memories with Erin and Neve.
• Parents night off – Holidays with grandparents offer some time off for the parents! If Dad came away with us, at some point during the week he would offer to stay in with the girls whilst they were asleep whilst we had some time out as a couple alone. From his point of view, he’d be quite content sat on the balcony with a beer and a book, and it would be a huge bonus to have some much needed child-free time; where the topic of conversation didn’t have to include poo, bogies or LOL surprise *not necessarily in that order*.
• Standard of Accommodation – splitting the cost between a larger pool of guests by having holidays with grandparents means that we may be able to get better quality or larger living space without needing to spend more money. Whilst saving money on holidays isn’t my only concern, it helps where possible!

Cons of holidays with grandparents;

• Itinerary – There may be differences in our ideal holiday. What Dad wants to do compared to what we want to do may be quite significantly different. For him, the idea of sitting around sunbathing whilst watching the girls splash around in the pool may sound utterly boring, whereas for me, it sounds like absolute bliss. He is more likely to want to learn about the culture and history of the location, go on scenic walks and explore the local surroundings, whereas for me, wearing anything other than flip flops and a swimsuit is likely to be too much like hard work! 🙂 – That said, I think it’s completely OK to not spend every single hour of the day together. One of the thoughts I like most about taking him away with us is that Dad would still be free to go and do what he enjoys, but with the ability to come back together later in the day, offering what I feel is the best of both worlds.
• Medical needs – Travelling with someone with health conditions can add some extra logistical challenges. Whether it’s travelling with oxygen, transporting an oxygen concentrator, arranging special travel insurance or special transport when you reach your destination, it’s better to do your research and understand all the requirements and associated costs before you go.
• Parenting Style  – My Dad at times is a bit of an ‘old school’ parent and is from the generation where the message was children should be seen and not heard. He adores the girls; but if they get too hyper or overexcited, he tends to get a slightly furrowed brow and look slightly uncomfortable. There is a slight concern that this difference in mindset may prove difficult in close quarters and I may have to bite my tongue a bit!!
• Personal space – Dad is used to living alone, and as such, he lives in a tidy, quiet and very calm environment. On the contrary, we live in an often messy, noisy and somewhat chaotic environment, and with no ability to escape to our happy places, the two extremes might not work well together. That said, we could consider two apartments close together to maintain private living areas or a larger size accommodation where any noise can be kept away from where my Dad may be sleeping or resting.

There is obviously a lot to think about, and at this stage, I am not even sure if he would agree, but it’s something we want to explore further. I’d be interested to know from those who have done it; how did you find holidays with the grandparents?