New Mum Romance RIP
*This is a collaborative post
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and like many couples this year, in the depths of a global pandemic, we are having to look for alternative ways to celebrate at home. I’ve never been particularly romantic, but it has to be said, as parents to two young children, any romance that did exist in our household has recently been laid to rest. If you are new parents, or have recently welcomed the arrival of a new sibling, then chances are the prospect of romance will be even further away from your list of priorities!
You know you’re in the “new mum no romance” zone when….
- Your request for an early night is a simple request for sleep, and nothing else.
- Your reference to being ‘soaking wet’ is referring to your sodden breast pads and not quite the green light he was hoping for!
- Your statement of ‘going to slip into something more comfortable’ means bringing out the big hospital pants or your favourite pj bottoms and not the silk underwear going dusty in your top drawer.
- You are awake enough feeding your baby during night to not only smell his sleep farts, but hear the pfffft of their appearance.
- Your boobs are the firmest & biggest they have ever been – but he’s not allowed to touch them for fear of getting sprayed with milk.
- The only spooning you want him to do is of puree into your babies mouth or like of copious amounts of cheese and deli meats from a platter straight into yours (learn more).
- When your other half says he’s tired, your first thought is a strong desire to punch him squarely in the face.
- The only glint you have in your eye is probably an actual glint from your three year olds’ discarded glitter.
- When you’d previously be googling must visit bars and nightclubs to voluntarily stay up all night, you instead find yourself googling best automatic espresso machines – because you will now literally have no choice but to stay up all night, rocking a baby who refuses to be put down.
- When you have an actual conversation about how Moana is ‘crazy hot’ or have topical debates about the most attractive Disney princess.
- The only time you spend gazing into each other’s eyes is when you are giving him ‘the glare’.
- Your version of sexting is sending a kiss on the iPhone drawling tool.
- The only thing you want to be on top of is the washing.
- The only thing you want to be under is your duvet…..
- When someone says date and you automatically think of a shrivelled fruit.
- When questions about contraception are responded to with laughter…
Is romance dead in your household??
Lucy x
“The only spooning you want him to do is of puree into your babies mouth.” – This made me laugh SO much this morning!! Thanks for spreading some giggles this Monday!
This post really made me laugh. I felt like this for the first few months.
I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t even make him a dinner when he came home incase I burnt the house down!
Haha this had me laughing out loud! Off to share this on my Facebook page!! ox
Hahaha!!! This could have been written by me! I am so bad at just slipping into huge pants and pj bottoms! Such a good post! x
This has made me giggle x
The only spooning you want him to do is of puree into your babies mouth. This also cracked me up! So true everything you wrote!!!!!
Mandy x
http://www.onesliceoflemon.com
Romance is well and truly dead in our house. We really need to start putting an effort in! x
Oh yes, no romance over here! Netflix and chill really does mean let me watch the telly and slob. Valentine’s Day is never remembered either! #FridayFrolics
I can relate to this at the moment. Staying up late together is any time beyond 7.35pm and date night is watching a full TV show together, although we spent the whole episode talking about the children. Plenty of time to make up for it as they get older. #thatfridaylinky
Haha really funny post thanks for sharing Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
Haha, very funny, loved this! So true about the shrivelled date!!!
I love a lie in and am always in my pjs by 6pm! Haha, mum life! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky
Brilliant. I think my husband has truly forgotten all connotations of slipping into something comfortable. It’s all about the PJ’S! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Had a proper giggle to this. My kids are 7, 5 & 3 and it’s still not back. Our attempts at bedroom fun have been thwarted by our 3yo the last couple of times which has scared me off!
Ha ha, yes absolutely. Things change ever so slightly when these little ones come alog 🙂 #MarvMondays