The 10 Types of School Run Mum in the New Normal

When my eldest started school 3 years ago, I had no idea what kind of school Mum I was going to become. It takes all sorts and I quickly learned that most of us, myself very much included are winging it 99% of the time.

After 6 months of lockdown, many parents across the UK are feeling mixed emotions about their children going back to school. From nerves to jubilation, the return of the school run will see a whole new breed of School Run Mums emerge from the safety of the four walls of their home, stepping out into the unknown and attempting to navigate through the so called ‘new normal’.

Which one of these New School Run Mums are you? (Best read in the voice of David Attenborough)

1. The Frazzled Mum

The Frazzled Mum arrives 10 minutes later than her allocated time slot for drop off, having already dispatched two children into their respective educational facilities. After 6 months of lockdown, it appears that schools were under the illusion that Frazzled Mum was indeed a Super Hero, with the ability to be in 3 different school playgrounds at almost the exact same time.

As a result of her trying to get from one school to the next in approximately 4.25 seconds, Frazzled Mum can be recognised by her slightly manic eyes, windswept hair and sweaty brow, the latter of which she tries to hide for fear of additional thermometer checks and the prospect of another 14 days at home with her children.

2. The Sentimental Mum

This Sentimental Mum is feeling quite emotional about the end of an era, having thoroughly enjoyed the time with her children making salt dough ornaments, growing sunflowers and painting smile stones for the local park. She is most likely to be seen with a camera in one hand and a large Lockdown Memories scrapbook in the other, whilst blubbing into a tissue and feigning mock excitement.

3. The Coordinated Mask Mum

Every school pre COVID had a Coordinated Mum – the one who whatever the weather, prided herself on always being impeccably dressed for the school run, coordinating the colour of her outfits to the season and matching her ridiculously expensive handbag to her shoes.

During lockdown, with a lack of physical shopping to satisfy her needs, Coordinated Mum has transformed into Coordinated Mask Mum, with a variety of reusable masks to suit every mood or occasion, including her personal favourite – “If you can read this, then you’re too F*&*%ng close’

4. The Activewear Mum

During lockdown this Mum has found her calling, making the most of her right to daily exercise, walking the distance from Lands End to John O’Groats around her garden and taking part in every virtual running challenge going. She’s determined to keep up this new active Mum persona come September, but in all reality, is very likely to shift swiftly back to being Sanitiser Mum or Hiding Mum by at the latest, the third day of term.

For now, The Activewear Mum has popped on the Leisurewear, laced up her trainers, flung her lockdown medals around her neck and is likely to be seen stretching and lunging enthusiastically on her way out of the school playground like Joey from friends. “Could I BE wearing any more clothes?!”

5. The Sanitiser Mum 

Sanitiser Mum is not ok. She is more than a little uncomfortable with the return of The Dreaded Germs, and is most likely to be seen in the far corner of the playground, manically scrubbing her children from top to toe in 99.99% antibacterial hand gel, before topping up a personalised bottle attached to their book bag.

She can be heard from quite some distance incessantly humming the tune to Happy Birthday and reminding her children about the importance of good hand hygiene, before breaking off mid chorus for a sudden shout of DON’T TOUCH THAT, or ‘CATCH IT BIN IT KILL IT Johnny!’

6. The Drop & Run Mum

The Drop & Run Mum has literally been counting down the days till 2nd September, and after spending every living hour with her children since March. weeing with an audience, shouting ‘I’M ON THE PHONE!!’ 300 times a day and retrieving snacks from the fridge every 22 seconds, she ain’t hanging around!

Before her little cherub can turn around for that last reassuring glance over their shoulder, The Drop & Run Mum is already back in her car, rushing back to pour herself a extra large glass of red which she will drink on the toilet ALONE for the first time in 6 months.

7. The Hiding Mum

The Hiding Mum has emerged from the wilderness for the first time in 6 months and the change of seasons and the requirement of wearing anything other than her pyjamas has left her feeling somewhat vulnerable and exposed.

The Hiding Mum is most likely to be seen wearing extra large shades and a mask, creating an almost foolproof incognito disguise and standing as far as humanly possible away from any other parent.

8. The School Project Mum

The School Project Mum is a very easy one to spot, rushing across the playground with grace and poise, her child trotting along enthusiastically at her ankles. In her arms she is carrying a giant cardboard monument representing every single phase of Prehistoric Britain from the Stone Age to Iron Age and beyond.

Whilst most of the class’s summer project was completed the day before term started, this child has actually made their own bronze entirely from scratch by combining copper and tin .

9. The What Day is it Mum

The What Day is it Mum is a tricky one to spot, mostly because she isn’t there. Instead she is at home, again (as if she hadn’t been there long enough), and could have sworn that the first day of term was actually tomorrow… in fact – what day is it? Is it still 2020?

10. The Questions Mum

The Questions Mum is like a duck. Calm on the surface but paddling like buggery underneath. Whilst she looks like she has everything under control – arriving at school on time, remembering the PE Kit and having packed her child’s favourite lunch, she has also sent 324 whats app messages to the parents group in the last hour alone, and is almost certainly going to forget the next non uniform day or jar collection for the PTA.

The Questions Mum can usually be seen forming a strong bond with School Project Mum, who effectively becomes her unpaid PA and diary management system for the next 5 years of her child’s life.

Joking aside, I’d love to know how you’re all feeling about the start of term.

At the moment I am a solid, 2,4,5,9 and 10 😀

Lucy xxx