The ‘Not so Glamorous Glow’

The ‘Not so Glamorous Glow’ – an insight into the not so glamorous side of pregnancy and the joyful symptoms that accompany the third trimester!

I am currently 26 weeks pregnant – fast approaching the third trimester. By this point in pregnancy those who aren’t pregnant often refer to women having a ‘pregnancy glow’ – the moment where said Mum to Be starts to bloom – her skin looks amazing, her hair is thick and luscious and her bump is round and perfectly formed. Well, the glow appears to have bypassed me on this pregnancy – I’m starting to think its a myth!

Here’s my low down on the not so glamorous side of pregnancy for those who may still be under the illusion!

1) The introduction of warm weather – YAY! The sun is out! Time to go for a lovely walk, get in the beer garden with friends or bathe in the rays…. Sounds wonderful right? Except its SO…. BLOODY….  HOT! Your body is sweating, your newly chubby legs start to stick and chafe together and you end up walking like John Wayne to ease the uncomfortable strain on your inner thighs. Yes. Of course I look glamorous. Everyone walks like that – don’t they??

2) Pruning. What comes close in line with the sunshine is the revealing of the ‘summer legs’. The milk bottle legs which rarely see the light of day and require some much needed attention before being unveiled to the world. Except there is one problem. You cant see your toes. Varnish application is virtually impossible. I could ask Erin to do it but she’s three, and trusting a three year old with red nail polish is likely to result in some Picasso type artwork on both me and the bathroom tiles, so this option isn’t particularly viable. There is NO easy position to shave your legs in the shower without shuffling around like a inflexible Bambi trying to master the can-can. As for the bikini line – well that’s now a completely invisible territory. Ensuring you remain bikini friendly is pretty much a blind task: results vary dramatically!

3) Leaking – This hasn’t happened yet this pregnancy but did around this time with my first. I remember it well. The moment I woke in the morning and accused my ‘gross’ partner of dribbling in his sleep, only to realise there was more dribble on my side too – and that said dribble was actually my boobs leaking colostrum all over my bed sheets! Why my boobs felt the need to prepare so goddam early is beyond me – as Erin kept us waiting another two weeks after her due date! Attractive.

4) Being scared to sneeze. Ok, we all know pelvic floor exercises are recommended in pregnancy. We probably all do them religiously at the beginning. Then they get kind of boring and after Erin arrived – well yeah, I didn’t do any. None at all. And now? Baby no,2 and sneezing suddenly feels incredibly risky. Feel a sneezing fit coming on? Maybe a trip to the bathroom would be recommended!! Just in case!

5) Bye Bye belly button! I’ve always been rather fond of my belly button. Actually, that makes me sound weird. I’ve always been ‘none offended’ by my belly button. It’s a good solid ‘inny’ or at least it was…. My well defined ‘inny’ is well on it’s way to being an outy. And quite simply, it grosses me out.

There are obviously many more less so glamorous symptoms off pregnancy, but those are some of mine for now. Not quite the glamour and glitz the magazines portray is it!?

What was your least glamorous symptom of pregnancy?