Welcome to my C Section Guide for Dads!

Caesareans / c sections can be a daunting experience, whether planned or otherwise, and it is not just the Mum who can feel anxious about the process. This C Section Guide for Dads is focused on the birthing partners, the Dads, or anyone who is in a supporting role for the Mum to be, and is packed full of c section hints, tips and advice on how to look after your wife or partner before, during and after their c section – all from my personal experience. It is totally normal to be nervous about a c section and wonder what to expect, so the more prepared you are for the c section experience, the more you can take care of your partner.

Read on to learn more about how you can support your wife during her c section and my c section tips for Dads.

What you should know about C-sections

With the help of my fellow Mum Bloggers, I recently shared my post with lots of c section tips and hints to help Mum’s to be both before, during and after their c section https://realmumreview.comelective-caesarean-tips/ and this post https://realmumreview.comcaesearean-pre-op-expect/ about the Pre Op Process.

The C Section Pre Op is a really important part of the C Section process, and makes sure you know exactly what you need to do the night before your C Section. As a C Section Dad, you may find it useful to have a read of these too.

What is a C Section?

A C section is where your baby is born through an incision your partners abdomen rather than vaginally. Your partner may have opted for an elective Caesarean, or there may be a medical reason why this is recommended where it is deemed safer for both Mum and baby. Medical reasons could include having a breech baby, pre eclampsia, gestational diabetes or having had complications in previous labours. 

At the time of writing, most hospitals in UK now allow birthing partners back in to the room during C Sections and whilst you may not feel you have a big part in the process, there is so much you can do to calm, comfort and reassure your partner as you welcome your baby into the world. 

Our C Section Guide for Dads

 What Dads / Partners can do the night before C Section

• The night before c section, you can help her pack and double check her hospital bags – if your partner is having an elective c section / planned c section, you can ensure she has everything she needs ready and waiting for the morning of the procedure.
• Pack some entertainment (for both you and her!) – again, if you are having an elective c section, you will be likely waiting around for some time. You tend to arrive early on the day, and are allocated a slot (usually there are around 5 sections a day). Depending on what time you are given, there may be some boredom and anxiety waiting for your turn – and even then this slot can move if an emergency takes precedent. Whatever you do, DON’T show her that you are bored, but bring some things to entertain you – whether it be a book, iPad, or even a board game/card game you can play together. Distraction is key!!!
• Ensure she doesn’t forget to take her Ranitodine (or similar medication that will have been discussed at the c section pre op) – this ensures the stomach is clear from acid before the c section procedure. She usually has to take this the night before c section as well as on the morning of the procedure.
• Get the babies first outfit ready – when you go in for the procedure, it will likely be your job to get the clothes out and ready for when your baby arrives. Make sure you know what you are looking for and that you aren’t aimlessly fumbling through a large bag to find what you need! You may find it easier to prepare a smaller bag within the changing bag with an entire outfit (including a nappy) already prepared and ready to go.
• Ensure you have your camera to hand – again, you are likely to be the one who can get the first photo 🙂 Alternatively, ask one of the midwives to snap a photo of the first moment you meet – that way you can capture your own excitment and anticpation of meeting your baby for the first time too.
• Discuss with your partner any specific c section requests / desires they may have (e.g. skin to skin, early breast feeding, curtain down, you cutting the cord etc etc). It is useful to ensure you are both on the same page and that you can take control if your partner is feeling a little out of sorts.

What C Section Dads can do DURING the c section:

• Try and at least appear calm, even if inside you are absolutely bricking it! Your partner is the one who is going to go through the physical operation, and therefore the last thing she needs is to be worrying about you or be worrying about why you look so worried!! Take deep breaths, keep a smile on your face, and comfort her. If it helps, imagine you are Dr Drake Ramoray – as she will probably think you look quite attractive in your scrubs (or maybe that was just me!!)
• On that note, yes, you will be wearing scrubs. In my partner’s case, this was a full body outfit in blue with a hat. I have no idea why I found that sexy lol 🙂 I blame the hormones!
• Try and keep her still and calm during the epidural or spinal anaesthetic, this can be nervewracking experience for her but its important this is administered safely. 
• Keep her informed – if she asks you a question – reassure her and help her understand what is happening.
• Hold her hand or rub her shoulders – it sounds daft, but some physical contact for reassurance works wonders for anxiety levels.
• If you’re at all squeemish, you may prefer to stand at the top end of the bed with your partner. Whilst they can (and may) put a screen up, you can inevitably see (and hear) some sights including blood and amniotic fluid. Your partner may also feel that she’s being jolted around as your baby is removed from the womb – this wont hurt, but may feel strange. Continue to comfort and reasure her throughout. 
• If they hand you the baby first, which is quite common, take them over to Mum’s face as soon as possible to let her meet her baby. She will want to stare at her creation just as much as you, and in my case, our daughter responded to my voice by opening her eyes and looking up at me. It was a magical moment!
• She may be emotional (so may you!) so tell her how bloody amazing she is!! A little bit of praise and thanks goes a long way!
• In recovery, keep her calm and help her if she has the shakes (this is quite common after a c section).

Caring for your partner AFTER her c section 

• On the ward, help her getting in and out of bed after the feeling in her legs has returned – she will find this difficult initially as her tummy will feel incredibly tender and sore. The hospital can supply a “ladder” – something which ties to the bed and that she can use to pull her up if she finds this easier.
• Bring in her favourite snacks – those early night feeds can be relentless and she will need her energy – particularly if she’s breastfeeding.
• Visit as much as you can during her hospital stay. If you have another child, keep Mum informed about how they are getting on too, as she will be feeling guilty (Mum’s prerogative!) and worry about being away from her other child(ren), especially if it’s for the first time.
• For extra brownie points, come and visit and let her sleep whilst you are there. Take time to bond with your new baby. She will appreciate the rest!
• She may experience some pain and discomfort after her section, especially if she is breastfeeding, as bizarrely this can make womb contractions feel stronger as her body readjusts to no longer being pregnant. Some hospitals may ask you to bring your own pain killers, but otherwise encourage her to take them when offered, otherwise she may regret it later when the newborn haze has started to wear off! 
• Ask before bringing guests – your partner may not be up for visitors straight away, especially if she has to stay in hospital for a few days. Make sure you check with her first before bringing guests up unannounced. 

Coming Home after a C Section

• When it comes to going home after a c section – bring a pillow for her to hold over her tummy. She will feel every bump and jolt in the road so this really helps – avoid speed bumps where ever possible!
• Don’t walk too fast – this may sound obvious, but as exciting as the prospect is of getting home with your baby, she has just had major surgery and will not be able to walk as quickly as normal.
• Don’t make jokes about her anti thrombosis socks – yes they look weird, and no they are not at all sexy, but they are recommended post surgery to avoid Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT)!
• Try and have stuff at home ready for her for when she gets discharged – ideally some meals (frozen or otherwise) for quick and easy tea times, clean bed sheets, washed baby clothes and nappies etc at easy access. If you have a changing table to build, ensure it is ready for when she comes home, as changing will be easier for her at height.
• Record any of her favourite tv programmes that she may miss whilst in hospital – in my case this was the x factor! She can then watch them later when stuck to the sofa feeding.
• Probably not what you had in mind when you considered buying underwear for your partner, but treat her to some large briefs that cover the belly and are perfect to wear when her scar is healing. She will appreciate the comfort more than you know. Just don’t label them a “push present” as you may well get punched in the face!
• Check with her before inviting loads of visitors – as she may not feel up to it right away. If you do decide to have them, make sure they don’t stay too long as she is likely to need some rest.
• Don’t let her overdo it, particularly if like me she is stubborn and used to be very independent. She might tell you that she can do it, or that she can manage, but if you aren’t sure if she should be doing it then she probably shouldn’t be. This is particularly important in the early days for healing.
• Try and let her sleep when baby is content, or even join her for a nap. This is obviously dependent on other children! Whoever said the phrase ‘Sleep when baby sleeps‘ is either an idiot or has never had children. As if it was that easy!
• Don’t leave her alone with the baby or children too early – again, she may appear to have been coping, but it only takes a few things to happen at the same time for it to become very difficult, very quickly!
• When she feels ready, go for a nice slow and steady walk with the pushchair and your new family.
• Don’t let her carry anything heavier than her newborn and she must not vacuum – this can cause incredible strain on the wound area. I can’t image she will be arguing with you too much about the latter!
• She may have to inject Clexane on returning home to prevent blood clots. If she doesn’t feel comfortable doing this, you may want to offer to help. They are actually very easy to administer and the process is over and done with very quick!!
• When it is time for you to go back to work – maybe ask a few other family members to help or check in when possible – this is particularly important if she has other children, especially whilst her wound is still tender and sore.

I hope you found this C Section Guide for Dads and these c section tips for Dads useful. Overall, the Dads / Birthing Partners play a MASSIVE role in the section experience, and the more you can do to help, the easier it will be for Mum. Enjoy every moment, and best of luck with the new addition! 🙂

Were you a birthing partner or C section Dad?

Is there any other c section advice would you add to my C Section Guide for Dads – let me know in the comments!

Lucy x