When Should You Start Letting Your Children Become Young Adults?
*AD – This is a collaborative post
The process of your children getting older is a glorious, yet very emotional time. All of the sudden they go from being your little baby, to wanting all of this independence. It happens a lot earlier than we care to realise. Simple things like them wanting to walk a few steps ahead of you, or asking for money to go to the shop with their friends. The way that they show you that they’re ready for their own freedom changes as they get older. It doesn’t matter how old they are, it still becomes a challenge to try and let go of the bond that you have with them. But are you really letting go of the bond at all? The longer you hold on to them as children, the more likely they are to rebel against you as parents. It’s usually in their teenage years that they start to test their boundaries, and truly start feeling like they’re young adults. But are you ready for that, and are they ready for that? When exactly should we start to loosen the reigns as parents, and actually let them become the young adults that they deserve to be? Well, we’re going to explore that a little, because we know it’s a hard subject for many parents to deal with in so many different ways.
The Technology Generation
We’re definitely raising a generation that’s addicted to technology at the minute. So many people are now becoming aware of how technology is taking over childhood. Most people reading this will remember a childhood playing outside with siblings as much as you possibly could. But now they’re glued to their tablets and their phones. That’s not to judge if your child does have a mobile phone, but it’s incredible to think how far technology has come. But it doesn’t come without its downfalls. There are now more problems in this world with child safety. When you think about the levels of grooming and child trafficking that’s happening, it’s scary to think what could happen. But on the flip side of it, it all comes with correct education. Your child needs to know that the dangers are out there, and why they should avoid them. So when the time comes, and they are perhaps walking to school on their own for example, they’re going to need a phone. We wouldn’t recommend children having one any younger. SMARTY mobile is just one of the places that you could look for a phone contract for them. You need to make sure that they have adequate data, texts, and calls, to make sure that you can always get in touch with them. When they do finally get social media and other such apps, make sure that you monitor it from a close distance. See who they’re adding, but don’t ask to go through their phone. It’s a complete invasion of privacy that could quickly build a wall between you and your children.
Going Out AloneÂ
It’s a sad time when your children want to go out alone, further than the area you already let them. As we said, they start to show signs of independence from a much younger age, but there will come a time when they get into their high-school years, and they will want to go out with their friends to the park, out for food, or whatever it is that they want to do. Again, you really don’t want to impose here, although it’s so easy to do so. We think there are some golden things that you need to stick by. Number one, make sure you know where they’re going and who with. Number two, drop them off and pick them up from wherever they’re going. Number three, ask them to have their phone on loud and to message you every hour to let you know they’re OK. Those simple rules will give you some peace of mind, without your child feeling like they can’t do anything. It’s no secret that the dangers of the world are growing more than they ever have before. Children are going missing, ending up injured or lost, and many more. To keep your mind at rest even more, you could download apps that they can use if they’re in danger. Some apps respond to the phone being shaken a few times, and that trips an automatic phone call to a person of their choice.
Rebelling Against You
If you can get through the years of raising a child and not have to go through this, then we take our hats off to you. Because there will usually be a time where your kids go through a rebellious stage, and depending on how you deal with it, it could damage the bond you have with them for life. Some relationships never come from the standoff that can happen during teenage years. If the rebellious stage is going to happen at any point, we just know that it will happen when the hormones kick in. When the hormones kick in, both girls and boys get all sorts of emotions that they find it hard to control. Boys can often become withdrawn and moody, untidy and unclean, and often more interested in computer games. It’s hard to maintain the bond during this stage, because they can never be bothered to socialise with you. However, doing things on their level might help to solve that. Making sure you’re picking things to do that they will like to do, and starting conversations that they want to. Girls will often do the same, except they can become far more emotional and catty. A mother’s bond with their daughter can easily be ruined by clashes of personalities and interests. However, at this time in their life the bond can also never be stronger. If you stay close to them, stay interested in their interest, and pick days out to do that they’ll like, you should be able to keep the relationship strong. Making sure that they can come and talk to you about anything is also important. Don’t let them put a wall up.
Changes At School
School is a really hard topic for a lot of families. Either your child is going to love it and you’ll have no problems. Or everyday is a daily struggle. However, it’s the perfect time for them to gain their independence, and truly turn into a young adult. They learn so much, grow so much, and really come into their own person. They start their high-school journey as innocent young children who still need their parents. But they finish it as young adults who are ready to take on the world, if you play your cards right. Some children find themselves living at home until they’re a lot older than you might have planned them to be, simply because they haven’t followed the right path in life. So, to allow them to become the young adults they need to be, guide them with work and teach them the importance of it. Monitor how they’re doing with their grades, and push for them to have extra tuition in struggling subject areas. You should also teach them important life skills, such as saving money for the things that they want, eating right, being able to cook, and all of the basic adult skills. So many families don’t focus on this!
Decisions In Their Life
The decisions that they choose to make in life will definitely turn them into young adults. They will have so many different decisions to make through the years, especially in school. So, it’s important that you make sure you’re the one to support them when they do make the right decisions, and advise them when you think they’re making the wrong decisions. The best way for them to become young adults at the right time is if they get the right experiences whilst they’re young. The more experiences they have, the more likely they are to grow up. Some children stay children well into the late teenage years and early twenties, simply because no one ever taught them to grow up. It’s about the age of 16 when they finally are old enough to get a part time job, that you should allow them to start making their own decisions. The more independence they have at this age, the better for them.
When They Reach 18 And Beyond
This is most definitely going to be a scary time for you. It’s a time where they’re either going to fly the nest and stop being your little baby, or they’ll cling on for many more years, and you’ll wonder when you will finally have the house to yourself. At the age of 18 they’re most definitely a young adult that doesn’t need to be controlled. They should be making all of their own decisions, and relying on themselves to function. Doing their own washing, making their own money, and paying their way in the home. It teaches them discipline for when they do actually fly the nest.
