A Small Positive for Parents of Picky Eaters
As my regular readers will know, I have had more than my fair share of picky eaters in this house, so its no wonder I got weaning fear when Neve turned six months and was deemed ready to start on solids. Erin had been a bit of a nightmare to wean, taking a while to adjust to different textures and flavours. At the time I was at my wits end, but thankfully she grew out of it pretty quickly. She now eats fairly well (as five year olds go) – eating a wide range of foods and flavours, lots of vegetables and for the main, the same meals as the adults only in smaller portions. Neve on the other hand is a different league of fussy.
Being under a dietitian since the age of 1, Neve definitely falls into the picky eaters category, and is yet to eat a full ‘proper’ meal, still relying heavily on pureed food, dissolvable snacks and soft bread. We have been given lots of advice for picky eaters along the way, but in the main the message was “keep persisting” so persist we do. Every single day. We continue to offer her food without pressure, and hold back the rage when 99.9% of the time the entire portion ends up on the floor. We try to appear relaxed about her eating, allow her to make her own decisions, but inside feel like screaming every time an item is tossed to the side or discarded. We’ve had good days (when she tried a tiny piece of cheese and pitta bread at nursery), and bad days where she goes into food avoidance mode and refuses to eat a thing, and then we have the “normal” – the days where she will survive the day on yoghurt, a fruit pouch, rice cakes and toast.
As a parent of picky eaters, it’s hard not to blame yourself, particularly when it’s the second child you’ve raised whose struggled to adjust. You question everything you did and what you may have done wrong. Did I not offer enough variety early enough? Did I have too much sugar in my diet and make my breast milk taste too sweet? Did I not bring in a wide enough texture range from the beginning? Did I show panic and reveal my inner fears when she regurgitated those first few feeds? Did I cause her to be nervous about choking and therefore encourage her incredibly strong gag reflex? Did I give in too easily? Focus on the small number of items she would eat, and then lead to a habitual eating pattern that she now can’t or won’t seem to get out of. Is it because I too was a picky eater? Is it genetics? Is it because we don’t sit round the table and all eat at the same time often enough? IT’S ALL MY FAULT.
If you have picky eaters, you will recognise those feelings; the guilt, the worry, the feelings of helplessness. You will wish that just once you could offer your child a meal at lunch time that doesn’t go on the floor, focus on your own dinner without having to have reflexes of Elastigirl to prevent food being thrown at the nearest fellow diner, and fight with your own conscience when choosing whether to fill her up with something she will eat or send her to bed hungry (the latter of which is likely to result in zero sleep).
Weeks like this week when Neve is fighting off yet another virus, I really do start to worry about her overall health and wonder how long this phase will go on for.
However, new research this week has shown that there is some light at the end of the tunnel at least for parents of picky eaters. The research conducted by the University of Bristol’s Children of the 90’s survey has reassuringly shown that picky eaters and fussy toddlers can actually grow up to be a healthy weight and height.
The longitudinal study looked at the height, weight and body composition of nearly 300 children between the ages of 7 and 17 years who had been found to be picky eaters when they were three years old.
Contrary to what you might expect, instead of the survey showing the picky eaters had been harmed by their limited diets, the mean height, weight and body mass index (BMI) of the picky eaters was consistently above the 50th percentiles of reference growth charts, showing a normal growth pattern. In fact more than two-thirds of picky eaters were not underweight at any age point during their childhood. This is obviously hugely reassuring.
Their advise was “Provided children are well and have enough energy, not only to grow but to go about their daily activities, including walking, running and active play, there should be no cause for concern. If there are concerns around growth, low energy levels or a child is frequently unwell then parents and carers should consult their GP or Health Visitor.”
So for now at least, I will try and feel reassured. Fussy eating is no new phenomenon and I know I won’t be the only one to be driving myself insane with worry. But it is just a phase. She won’t starve and things will get better, but in the meantime, perhaps the cream carpet wasn’t such a great idea,
