Stop Focusing on the Destination…

From a very young age we are taught to focus on the destination. It starts from toddler age and continues through to being an adult, and the message is clear; we must always keep looking to the future, focusing om the end result, and have our eyes on the prize.

I can think of so many examples from my childhood of where the message of destination focus is reinforced:

• If you’re a good girl at your Nanny’s today, you can have a treat when you get home.
• If you work hard at school, you’ll get good grades.
• If you get good grades, you will be able to go to college.
• Do well at college and you can go to university.
• Go to university and you get to secure your dream job.
• Secure a good job and you can get your foot on the property ladder….

The list goes on. It’s relentless. I’ve been making a conscious effort in recent months to try and change this mentality, and I have found it far less stressful to have an alternative vantage point on the world.

Here’s why:

We spend most of our school days looking forward to the day we leave, most of our work days waiting till 5 o clock, and most of our evenings hoping for bedtime.

How many times as an adult do you hear yourself say “Roll on the weekend”, or “Im counting down the days till my holiday”, “Is it bedtime yet?” or “it’s only 5 months till Christmas” (ok maybe the last ones just me).

The problem with this, is that in every single one of those statements, we are all wishing our lives away.

When did it become so important to focus on the destination – that illusive end goal? That mission, that sometimes unachieveable mirage that is all so far away and oh so hard to achieve? What’s wrong with today?

Why focus on the destination that we may or may not meet, or on a day that may never come, when we should be living, in the moment, right here, right now.

Whilst a goal or a mission can be a good thing (I for one find it hugely motivating to set myself personal challenges and have something to work towards), they come with a risk. A risk that we try so hard trying to meet said destination that we forget to appreciate what we have, and admire the views on the way.

We spend so long saving for a rainy day, convincing ourselves that life starts at 50, or holding things back for a special occasion that we fail to remember that every single day is special. Every moment should be a celebration. If we celebrated each day and saw things through a child’s eyes maybe we would appreciate that life isn’t just about the destination, it’s just as much about the journey.

Sometimes that journey will be bumpy, and sometimes the road will be smooth. Sometimes the road will be packed full of excitement when other days it’s a long straight path with an element of mundane. But every day is a blessing, a time to appreciate the small things, and embrace the detail. And if you want to wear your favourite earrings on a random Sunday – do it.

Why wait for tomorrow??

Lucy

*This is a collaborative post*