Taking A Trial Separation And How It Can Affect You
If you’re at the point where it feels like you need to “take a break,” then things are not likely going as well as they should. Whether you find yourselves arguing more often or there is a difference that you are having trouble reconciling, a lot of couples will take some time to let cooler heads prevail before they come back together. However, it’s important to make sure that you’re working to ensure that the trial separation doesn’t become something worse.
Talk about the break before it happens
You shouldn’t leave in anger, only to later leave a message or call that to inform your spouse that you’re taking a break. It’s a discussion that should be held while you’re calmed and able to better explain why you think it’s necessary. It’s also important to set a realistic time-frame. If you’re apart for three months, for instance, that’s not a separation, that’s more likely to become an irreversible breakup. You might get some pushback if your partner doesn’t want a separation, but if you think it is the right thing for your relationship, you might have to be firm.
Child custody battles can quickly ensure after a divorce, and they are often a source of stress for parents and children alike. In 2019, it was estimated that parents forced to represent themselves in custody battles at family courts has doubled due to legal aid cuts. Many lawyers and politicians agree that this increase in parents fighting without legal representation would lead to prolonged proceedings and increased anxiety for all parties involved. Luckily, family law solicitors exist to represent their clients in custody battles. These lawyers can offer legal advice and help you reach an amicable settlement with your partner.
Looking after the kids comes first
If you’re a parent, then your responsibility to your kid comes first. Both parents should still be involved in their life as much as possible. If you find that you’re looking after them alone, then finding childcare to carry some of the weight for you may be essential. If they’re old enough to see that the break is happening, you have to be honest, not to misguide them, but attempt to adapt it into a version they can understand.
Make sure you know your rights
You cannot always fully predict where a trial separation might go. As such, you have to expect the best but prepare for the worst. For instance, ask yourself “what are my rights if I leave the marital home?” If the home isn’t jointly owned, you still might have some rights to live there in the event of a break-up, but you should take the time to secure it by registering your matrimonial home rights with the land registry. That way, you can ensure that the home you worked to build within the marriage isn’t taken away should a divorce be on the cards.
Stay committed when separated
If you’re not already going to couples’ therapy, then now may be the right time. You both have time to think about your relationship without being in each other’s faces. Make sure that you are committed to any therapy or even regularly timed communication without a therapist. Separation can make it easier to step back and see the others’ perspective, as a little time and distance can heal some of the more raw feelings involved.
One can never tell how a break will end and where the relationship might be after. For many people, it saves their marriage but for others, it might give them a lot more to think about and a hard decision to make. Whatever happens, the tips above can make sure you’re protected.
