18 months of Breastfeeding – Highs, Lows and Life Savers

Breastfeeding is quite the rollercoaster. Ask any mother who has breastfed or attempted to breast feed their children, and you can pretty much guarantee that no matter how long their feeding journey was for, whether it was exclusive, combination or expressed, they will have been through their fair share of highs, lows and challenges. There are so many things about breastfeeding that people don’t tell you, that it is often hard to know what to expect.

I have recently reached 18 months of exclusively breastfeeding my 2nd child, having fed my eldest for around 25 months. I am incredibly proud of this and it is something that despite facing some huge challenges, I wouldn’t change for the world.

I thought it would be useful to share my highs, lows and life savers of my breastfeeding journey so far. Whilst I appreciate many of these are personal to me, and that everyone’s experience is different, I thought it may prove helpful to those who may be just starting their journey, or wanting to know more about what to expect.

Highs

Quickly establishing feeding after c section – When I found out I was having a c-section this is something I was quite nervous about. Having successfully fed my first child, I was desperate to breast feed again, and was nervous that a less natural birth would complicate the process and make it harder to establish feeding. I needn’t have worried, within minutes of getting back into a side room post section I asked if I could try and encourage her to latch, and I am so glad that we did this early on. She appeared to know what to do straight away, and within minutes of being born she was feeding well. I know not everyone has this experience, so I am very grateful for this. If you are having a section and are concerned about feeding, I would recommend trying at the earliest opportunity. As long as it is deemed safe to do so, there is no reason for any significant delay. I’ve shared some hints and tips for c-section birthing partners too which you may find useful.

Good milk supply – With both pregnancies I have been incredibly lucky to have good milk supply – if anything a little more milk than was absolutely necessary!!! Despite this resulting in lots of engorgement early on, different sized breasts between feeds and a little spraying here and there (handy for annoying the other half with!), I didn’t have to worry about my daughter not getting enough, as I could visually see and orally HEAR the amount of milk my body was producing. With my first I was still paranoid about growth and had her weighed far more often than I needed to, but with Neve I was a lot more relaxed and trusted my body to do what it needed to do.

The second time around I felt a lot more nervous about feeding in public, and I have absolutely no idea why – perhaps it was having an older child in tow that made things a little less discreet, and the fact I had to have my wits about me to do two things simultaneously!! That said, I was able to find lots of breastfeeding friendly locations close to home where I felt completely comfortable feeding Neve and where there was good facilities and child friendly activities to keep her older sister entertained. Whilst you obviously don’t have to cover up during feeding, with Erin I invested in a breast feeding apron, which I found made me feel far more relaxed and less self conscious, particularly in the early days. As she got bigger and I gained in confidence, I tended to stick to the one up one down method (two vest tops), which is actually incredibly discreet and most people probably wouldn’t even notice!!

The thing I am most proud of from this breast feeding journey is that I continued to feed Neve despite being poorly with sepsis and a prolonged hospital stay. As a breastfeeding Mum, I was allowed to have Neve stay with me as a hospital ‘lodger’ where as if she had been bottle fed she would have most likely had to stay at home with her father. Already struggling with the situation and not being able to walk, being apart from my newborn and my eldest would have probably pushed my mental health over the edge! Breastfeeding was the one thing at this time that I felt I actually could do, so I was strongly against anything that may have prevented this, even turning down the stronger pain killers so that I could continue to feed her myself. The midwives all said how proud of me they were for persisting even when times got tough, and I am very glad that I

Neve an I now have an incredible bond – she clearly loves her mum, and her little face lights up whenever I enter the room. Clearly this isn’t just to do with breast milk, and I am not suggesting that it would be any different if we bottle fed (before I get lynched!) but those weeks we spent together just the two of us and the bedtime snuggles we have every single night clearly help.

Growth – Watching Neve’s growth in her little red book knowing for the first 6 months that her growth and thriving was entirely down to me was definitely something to be proud of. Neves weight was perfect, growing along the percentile chart and tracking with her weight perfectly as the weeks went by.

Financial – Another big benefit to breastfeeding long term has been the financial savings – we have saved a huge amount of money by not having to buy formula or bottles, and that money has been very useful elsewhere, particularly when it has come to covering the additional expenses of having two children!

I have to be honest in that I have found breastfeeding 2nd time around relatively straightforward once established – a lazy Mums dream! The thought of trapesing downstairs to sterilise bottles in the middle of the night doesn’t bear thinking about!

However, in the words of Princess Poppy, it’s not all been rainbows and cupcakes… We have had a few hard times breastfeeding too!!

Lows

As was the case with Erin, we experienced some major cluster feeding at the beginning – I remember thinking “She can’t be hungry again?!!!” as I latched her on for what felt like the hundredth time that day. The night times were hard, as between 7pm and 2am she was pretty much permanently attached to my breast, and the physical (and mental) exhaustion was pretty tough. Thankfully this stage doesn’t last forever!!

Engorgement – Ouch. For some reason with Neve I really struggled with engorgement in the early days. If need had an off day or didn’t feed as often as normal I would reaallllly know about it. Queue rock hard boobs, painful to the touch, and the need for a very good breast pad!!!!

One of my biggest lows this time around has been related to the lack of sleep. Neve is awake a lot feeding during the night, even now at 18 months of age. We are all told we should teach our babies to self settle, and whist I completely agree and understand the concept (it’s a mistake I promised not to make again second time around) it is very hard to do successfully when you are breastfeeding! As with Erin, Neve pretty much fell asleep on the breast every time when she was tired, and I was hardly going to wake her up when she was content in order to pop her down in the cot awake again. As a result, whilst the breastfeeding has been successful, she does now associate feeding with sleep, struggling to drift off without it. As such, I have kind of failed to teach my daughter the most important life skill of all! Who’s the dummy now??

At times I have been so tired and frustrated that I have got what can only be described as ‘Touch rage’ – when she is messing around, or playing with my bra straps or nipples rather than feeding I find myself getting incredibly frustrated, and at times just want to be left alone!!! On a few occasions I have had to pop her in the cot, leave the room and give myself 5 minutes before I return. This is always worse when it is particularly hot (see surviving breastfeeding in a heatwave). I think people underestimate the amount of pressure feeding can be on a Mum, and for me, this constant feeling ‘messed with’ can form a big part of that!

Despite promising to do so, we didn’t establish Neve on a bottle. We had planned to try and express a bottle at least once a day so that Mike could occasionally help with feeds when I was feeling tired, however my illness and extended hospital stay kind of put pay to that. As a result, sole dependency for feeding fell to me and at times that can be pretty tough. It also means my social life has been pretty much non existent, as evenings out aren’t an option at the moment. That said, they are only little once, so there is plenty of time for date nights when they are a little older! 🙂

Despite medics saying that Breast Fed babies often eat better, due to the range of flavours from their Mother’s diet, Neve definitely hasn’t fell into this category, and we are still under a Dietitian as her ability to eat solid foods is pretty limited. I know that this is quite a rare position to be in, but as a result of her limited diet, even at 18 months breast milk still forms a major part of her night time routine, and is not something I feel I can refuse as it remains a big source of nutrients!

As an Emetophobic, there have also been some person challenges relating to breastfeeding a toddler. Neve has had a few tummy bugs in her life so far, and close physical contact when she has been vomiting has not been pleasant for me! The anxiety I’ve experienced having to continue feeding through the bugs has been pretty horrendous, but I know it was the right thing to do for my daughter.

Finally, knowing that Neve is my last baby, and as such that this will be the last breastfeeding I ever do is quite emotional!! I know that when the time comes, that last ever feed will be quite a wrench, but I am so proud of what my body has achieved.

The Life Savers

As a breast feeding Mum, there are a few things that have been total Life Savers, particularly in those early days.

The first was Lanolin – to the degree that I would say every hospital bag needs a tube of this. Whilst it isn’t cheap, it is worth every penny. I found it so helpful to apply a small amount to my nipples after every feed, particularly in the days before your milk is fully established, and it helped to prevent cracked, sore or red friction burns from regular feeding. It is also completely safe to use from birth, so you can have total peace of mind that it wont harm baby in any way.

Breast pads – as someone with a very strong milk supply, if I didn’t wear good quality berast pads I could pretty much guarantee ending up with a large wet mark on my tshirt!! I tried a few different ones, but with breast pads, I think the concept of “you get what you pay for” definitely applies. My personal favourite were the Lansinoh Breast Pads – comfortable, stayed in place and the most absorbent of the lot. I very rarely had any leakage when these were popped in my bra before a feed!

Cereal Bars – there is no denying, breastfeeding is thirsty work, so in the early days, I used to keep a box of cereal bars in the nursery to keep my energy levels up during night feeds. It sounds daft, but looking after a little one can make you forget to look after yourself, and with breastfeeding the two go very much hand in hand. As much as you need to make sure baby is fed, ensuring you eat regularly and well is crucial to establishing successful feeding.

Support Groups – having support to continue breastfeeding when times get tough is crucial, and I have been lucky enough to have support not only face to face but also online. I am in two local breastfeeding groups both of which have been invaluable – Breastfeeding Solihull and Liverpool Community BAMBIs. These closed facebook groups meant I could ask questions in relative private settings and within minutes have answers from both professional breastfeeding support workers and a wealth of other Mums who had been in the same situation – trust me you are never alone even when at times it can feel like you’re the only person awake in the world!

For the fashion conscious amongst you id also recommend the group Can I Breastfeed in it UK?, full of ideas and inspiration for breastfeeding friendly fashion!

So there we have it, 18 months in and I have no idea when our breastfeeding journey will come to an end. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs, but my daughter is happy and healthy, and its great to know that I have been a huge part of that.

Good luck to anyone just starting their feeding journey, and if you have any questions you want to ask please feel free to pop them in the comments! 🙂

Lucy x

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