How To Get Your Parents To Respect Your Parenting Style

Parenting and childcare is an ever-evolving arena. Each generation has its own way of doing things. Usually, new research and product development help parents to better understand and care for their children, which can look very different from their own childhood. 

This is a completely normal thing, but it is also one of the issues most likely to cause animosity between you and your parents. While it can seem like a never-ending battle to justify your parenting style, there are ways that you can deal with this situation so that it doesn’t drive a wedge between you and your family. 

Understand their point of view

Though it’s not necessarily your primary concern, put yourself in your parent’s shoes for a minute. Imagine that everything you fed your child, the way you held them, the position you put them to sleep in or discipline them is now viewed as ‘wrong’. It will feel like the world is telling you that you were a terrible parent. 

Sometimes, it’s not necessarily what you’re doing that they disagree with, it’s how it reflects on them as a parent. There’s a good chance that in the future, you’ll be having these same conversations about your grandchildren. 

Explain why you’re doing what you’re doing

Sometimes, your parents may not understand why you’re doing something the way you are. Try taking the time to explain it to them in a non-confrontational way. For example, perhaps your parents let you cry it out to get into a sleep routine as a baby, but you’ve decided to go a different route and get some early sleep consulting and try a different routine. 

Choose your battles

How you parent your child is your decision and your parents should respect your rules when looking after or interacting with your children. While some of your wishes should be non-negotiable, try and be flexible where you can, so that your parents don’t feel like they’re getting everything wrong. 

Let them know how you feel

No one knows how to push your buttons quite like your parents. This is why it can be difficult to talk to them in a calm way. You either end up being confrontational or moaning about them to your partner while the resentment builds up and begins to affect your relationship. 

If you notice things are starting to become a problem, address it early in a calm way. For example, saying something like ‘could you put the baby down for a nap between 1 pm and 2 pm, if he sleeps any later he’ll keep us awake all night’ rather than resenting the fact that your parents have been letting them nap late and you end up resentful and angry at them. 

Takeaways

Parenting is never easy, and everyone is trying to get through it as best they can. It can be easy to second guess yourself as everyone seems to have an opinion on what you’re doing. Stick to your guns and try to see them from your parent’s point of view, without compromising your wishes.