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I HATE Bedtime.

I HATE Bedtime.

Most parents, no matter how much they adore their children, look forward to bedtime. Whilst they may not actively admit it, the prospect of putting the child(ren) to bed after a long day and having a few hours of peace, quiet and relaxation is most definitely appealing. For some, the clock ticks to 7pm and the role of Mum can be placed on the back burner for a while, leaving the character known only by her first name to enjoy some of her own time, to do whatever she wishes.

Whilst many look forward to bedtime, I dread bedtime. I would  go so far as to say I HATE bedtime.

Because for many, the reason why they love bedtime, is because they love the time they get after bedtime. Yes there are jobs to do, lunches to pack, clothes to iron. But most parents, somewhere, anywhere, get a small slither of ‘me’ time, couple time, time to paint my nails whilst catching up on Big Brother time.

I get what I refer to as YoYo Time. Up and Down, Up and Down, Up and Down – and not in a good way!

I love my girls, but I also love nothing more than to see them sleep.

Instead I spend hours stuck to an uncomfortable nursery chair, in a box room staring at the four walls in front of me.

I have my necklace pulled, my bra straps pinged, my nose whacked and my neck poked.

I rock, I sway, I sing lullabies, I avoid feeding, I offer a cup, before ‘giving in’ for an attempt at an easy life.

I settle her, I leave the room, I have a moment where I consider what I want to do with my evening. And then the crying returns.

I pendulum between angry frustration and pure overwhelming love, repeatedly, around 10 times a night.

I sit on my phone, desperately trying to stay awake, when all I want to do is sleep.

I sneak in my eldest daughters room in a brief interval between settles, and rub the hair off her face. Admiring the sleeping beauty and feeling guilty that I didn’t read her a bedtime story this evening.

I lift my baby in and out of the cot on repeat, until I give in, and bring her in with me. Anything for the tiniest hope of some sleep.

I don’t put the duvet over me in case I accidently cover her.

I don’t roll over in case I accidently smother her.

I ‘sleep’ on approximately one inch of bed, whilst my diva daughter sleeps spread-eagled on the bed next to me, one arm on mine, and the other on her snoring father.

We get calls of “Daddddddddddddddddddy” at 1am. They wake us all, and I am back to square one.

I comfort baby number 2, whilst feeling guilty and sad that no.1 never calls for me anymore.

She never calls for me, because I am always too busy – too busy settling her sister.

I finally drift off in the early hours of the morning and the rest of the night passes in a blur.

I couldn’t tell you how many times she wakes in the night but it is a lot. I feed her lying half asleep in my bed. It’s easy, and it’s an instant sleep aid, but its non sustainable.

I don’t look forward to bedtime, because for me, there is no real bedtime.

I bloody love my children, but I’d love it even more if they slept.

Real Mum Reviews

12 Comments

  1. Becci - The UnNatural Mother

    I have been through this so I don’t want to patronise you but just in case you haven’t tried them here is a few suggestions –
    * Get a side cot next to your bed. If baby is sleeping with you already then maybe a side cot next to the bed may be a good compromise
    * Lavander oil after a bath. Body Shop do a great one and i have found this works wonders
    * Can you put baby down later than you have been doing ? My little one during winter is down for 7.15 but now in the summer light she is a much better sleeper if i put her down at 8.30 when it’s a bit darker.
    * day naps are they always in baby’s cot ? If you can get then used to naps in the cot then they will ( slowly) get used to sleeping in their cot at night.
    Finally ………..
    * Not sure if baby is on solids yet but a nice bowl of porridge ( real oats not baby porridge) or smooth mashed potato before bed helped them sleep better.
    And finally ……………………..Just do whatever the heck you need to to get some sleep.

    Keep going , I promise it gets better XxX

    Reply
    • loosea

      The lavender oil sounds like a great idea. She’s in her own room (in theory) and happily naps in there alone. The solids is part of the problem with Neve unfortunately and so I think her hunger is part of the issue

      Reply
    • loosea

      Thanks for taking the time to comment – appreciate it x

      Reply
  2. Lucy mackcracken

    Here’s hoping that things start to improve on the sleeping front soon for you so you can get some proper rest too

    Reply
    • loosea

      Thanks Hun! X

      Reply
  3. Eva Katona

    It can get so hard and complicated sometimes. My first born slept (and still does!) like an angel, but not my 13 month old girl. I literally haven’t slept straight 7 hours since she was born. She still feeds once around 4 am and then up at 5:30. Until recently it took all evening to put her down to sleep, and woke up frequently. And she’s loud. Bloody loud. Literally screams her head off if something’s happening against her will. It got better after she started to walk, which was the same(ish) with my son which makes me believe that developmental leaps do effect their sleep.
    Hang in there, do what you can (I don’t promote co-sleeping but my girl does end up our bed after the 4am feed, mainly because that’s the only way she sleeps another hour or so) to get more sleep. #humpdaylinky

    Reply
  4. Heather Keet

    I hope things start to change soon and you get some real sleep! #HumpDayLinky

    Reply
  5. Vicki @ tippytupps

    big hugs – it’s so hard isn’t it. The great news is it doesn’t last forever. The bad news is that doesn’t help right now. #HumpDayLinky

    Reply
  6. Amanda

    Evening are so precious so I feel your pain. Try and remember it’s only a stage. Everything is only a stage. Unfortunately some stages last longer than others and typically these are the trying ones. Sending sleepy thoughts your way x #humpdaylinky

    Reply
  7. Tubbs

    I’ve got nothing, apart from good thoughts because we need them to sleep so we can (and get stuff done). Hopefully they’ll get the idea soon

    Reply
  8. Susie/So Happy In Town

    I remember dreading bedtime too as like you say, there was no real bedtime for me, just a seesaw of me trying to get back to sleep after being woken every hour by someone. It was torture at the time and I couldn’t remember ever sleeping well again, but you do, and it’s an endurance test for sure, but you’ll get there I promise. #HumpDayLinky

    Reply
  9. Oldhouseintheshires

    Oh I can relate! It’s such a hard stage and the tiredness is all consuming isn’t it? It will get better… I promise! Have u tried leaving her, just for a little while? She may not know how to get to sleep you see. Good luck. X#humpdaylinky

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Lucy, a thirty something mum of two from Birmingham. A memory maker, tradition keeper, stationery addict and Mr Men fanatic. HR Advisor by day and sleep deprived Mama by night!

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