Pre Maternity Leave Jitters – The emotions that go through a woman’s head before, during and after maternity leave are pretty intense, and having lived through them once back in 2013, I am now approaching the time where I have to do it all over again!
I have just 25 days left at work. I don’t officially finish until the end of August but as I work part time this means I have a fairly limited number of days left in the office. I know that those 25 days are going to fly by.
The reality of this is that I…
a) Shit myself at how much I have got to do before I leave
b) Shit myself again at the prospect of having another little human being in this house in less than 10 weeks time
c) Shit myself yet AGAIN at the thought of my interim being better than me and my employer secretly hoping that I don’t come back (I have every intention of returning, so hoping this one is just in my head!)
What I found the hardest on maternity leave first time around was being “out of the loop”. I have what can only be described as FOMO – (Fear of Missing Out). Whilst I cherished every moment of my maternity leave with Erin (I was lucky enough to have a full 12 months off), I found being away from the workplace for such a significant amount of time very challenging. I also was unable to do any keeping in touch days first time around, largely because Erin was stuck to my breast like some kind of loveable leach for most of my maternity leave, and we never quite managed to get her to take a bottle! Returning to work after so long away and minimal contact left me feeling quite vulnerable and definitely lacking in confidence!
I love my job, and enjoy having various tasks for which I am solely responsible. The thought of someone else doing these for me and either a) doing them not to the standard I would aim for or b) better than I would have done (this one obviously would be worse!) leaves me feeling slightly anxious. I then get nervous at the prospect of going back to it afterwards, when there could be a whole new way of doing things compared to how I do it now.
I am determined this time around to not let my confidence be knocked in the same way as it was last time. At the end of the day, I am the only one who is in control of this – so need to think logically! Here are some of my tips for avoiding a confidence crisis when returning from maternity leave…
Tips:
- Make the use of keeping in touch days where you can – whilst your employer isn’t obliged to offer them, they can pay you for up to ten keeping in touch days during the full maternity leave period. These days can be used to attend training, go to conferences, or simply do a “day in the office” and you can be paid at your normal rate without affecting your entitlements to maternity pay (where as other employment would). This is a great way of keeping in the loop about changes that may affect your on your return such as new starters / leavers / new systems / new legislation etc.
- Find ways to use your brain – part of the reasons I set this blog up in its original form back in 2013 was that I wasn’t the kind of person that could “just’ be a mum – and I mean this in the nicest possible way. As much as I loved the baby interaction, I also needed some kind of “adult” conversation, and to feel as if I was doing something remotely brain taxing. I taught myself some basic web design, some code and social media skills, and I felt like I was learning something new, in addition to learning how to be the best mum I could be. All of these have been great to add to my CV, so nothing wasted! 🙂
- Go and visit – everyone loves a baby cuddle, and it helps keep the relationships with your colleagues alive, as well as showing you are commited to your employer and intend to go back. Whilst your employer isn’t legally entitled to ask about your plans, I would also recommend being as upfront and honest with them as you can, as it helps them plan – which is ultimately helpful and less costly for them. For example, although I obviously have the right to change my mind, I have planned at least 9 months maternity leave. By keeping my boss aware of this, she knows that it is unlikely I will be back before then and can plan for my interim accordingly.
- Try and keep up to date where you can – depending on the industry you are in – try and still read around your subject. For example – my day job is human resources, so I will try and keep abreast of changes in employment law by reading relevant news articles, reading my CIPD magazines, and where possible doing online webinars every so often. This doesn’t need to take up much time, but stops you from feeling totally confused when you go back!
- Remember who you are – you don’t just lose all the skills you’ve worked so hard to build up the minute you go on maternity leave, so don’t let yourself feel like it. Easier said than done, but you can be a Mummy and a career woman at the same time, just enjoy being a mummy for a little while first! 🙂
In the meantime, I will aim to make the most of my last couple of months in the office, and focus on the exciting journey ahead! 🙂 x
