This post was written in my 7th month of breastfeeding my daughter. After originally hoping to breast feed for 6, I began to reflect back on the ups and downs of my breastfeeding journey, and the things that no one told me before I had my daughter. I hope that my insight from a real breast feeding mum will help paint a more realistic picture of breastfeeding! Here are the 10 things I wish I’d known about breastfeeding
10 things I wish I’d known about Breastfeeding
1) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that you can leak milk before the baby is even born.
Who knew!? This was the first insight I had into the world of breast feeding. I started leaking a small amount of milk at around 20 weeks pregnant, usually overnight. The first time it happened, I rolled over whilst stirring in the morning to find a small wet patch on the sheets. I accused my partner of dribbling in his sleep (which is not unheard of!), only to find the next night, there was another one – only this time on the other side!!! I soon established that which ever side I had been lying on, a little wet patch would form on the sheets. I was always under the impression from what I had read that milk didn’t arrive until Day 3 postpartum, so hadn’t been expecting this! I have since discovered that this is perfectly normal, and can happen to some women as early as 12 weeks pregnant. According to the advice I was given from health visitors and midwives it doesn’t however bear any impact on whether or not you will be a successful breast feeder.
2) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that even midwives and health visitors have different views on breastfeeding…
I was in hospital for 2 days after the birth of my daughter due to rather a complicated birth, and therefore was lucky enough to receive some fantastic support and guidance surrounding breast feeding. One thing I did notice though, was that there is even variety of thinking between midwives and healthcare professionals about the best way to approach breast feeding. I found this a little overwhelming at the time, being told “try it like this” only for the next member of staff to do the rounds to say “how about like this” and give me a whole other set of instructions. As the days went on, I decided to try various approaches, and eventually found one that worked for me and my baby.
3) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that everyone, even strangers, will want to ask you whether your breastfeeding…
We all know the saying, breast is best, as its pretty much engrained into our minds from the moment we find out we’re pregnant. But what they don’t tell you, is that as a result, everyone, even total strangers will want to know whether you are breastfeeding, and form a judgement based on your response. When Erin was 8 weeks, I got asked by family, friends, and random ladies who stopped me to coo over her in the supermarket – “are you breastfeeding / still breastfeeding?” The proud smiles in response to my yes were more deserved of someone who had rescued a stranded cat from a tree, or ran into a burning building. As time has gone on the question has remained the same but this time with shock… “blimy, your still feeding her yourself?” and “wow, you’ve done well”. Either way, people feel its their business, and its something I’ve just simply got used to.
You then have those that judge when breastfeeding in public (we simply can’t win!), at first you might feel vulnerable or nervous about feeding in public (in which case we recommend the Feed Me Mummy Breastfeeding vest or something like the Bebe Chic Breast Feeding Cover. After a while however, you simply start to not care. If my child needs feeding, I will whip them out, and if you don’t like it, don’t look! lol
You pretty soon establish which places are breast feeding friendly.
4) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that it’s Relentless…. or at least at first…
When my daughter was born, she went through a phase of feeding on the hour, every hour, including through the night. As an exclusively breast feeding mum, as much as my partner tried to provide moral support, it was physically exhausting. However, my baby would’ve most likely been feeding as often (or almost as often) on formula, which I feel would’ve been a lot more hassle with sterilising and the like. It is easy to underestimate the level of energy required to breast feed though – whatever you do, don’t forget to eat – no matter how much you want to lose those extra pounds – those calories will get you through the night. Cereal bars were my best friend at 4am!
5) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that you should express earlier!
I was very reluctant to express my milk into a bottle, largely because I’d been told (or heard on the rumour mill that is google), that giving a teat too early can confuse the baby, and then they might not want to continue with the breast. For that reason, despite desperately wanting some support from family members (whilst still giving my daughter my own milk), we didn’t attempt a bottle until 12 weeks. By that point of course, she didn’t want to know. We haven’t been able to get her to consistently take a bottle ever since!!!
6) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that it can still be expensive!
I’d always thought that breastfeeding would be cheaper, and strictly, I guess it is, with no need to purchase bottles, teats, sterilisers, expensive formula milk and the like. However, what no one made clear to me is all the extra purchases that go with breast feeding. First, a few decent nursing bras, (I didn’t manage to find a decent one until recently(!) then, if you’ve a strong let down, you’ll need breast pads, and LOTS of them, as well as some new tops to breast feed in. I gave birth to my daughter in June, and ended up buying about 30 (no joke) vest tops, so that I always had at least one (if not two) to wear so I could easily feed on the go.
7) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that it can still be messy!
If your baby even misses one feed, or goes slightly longer than normal, your breasts decide to spontaneously erupt, and leak milk everywhere. Unless you’ve invested in some decent breast pads, then your likely to end up with milk all over your top. In my case, if Erin had gone a few hours without a feed, I would also end up literally spraying milk everywhere when I finally attempted to feed. Thank god we had a leather wipe down sofa, and so much for dignity! Muslin squares are a must for preventing posset stained clothing!!!
8) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that you’ll constantly be worrying about whether your baby is getting enough.
As a breastfeeding mum its impossible to know if you’re baby is getting enough, as unlike bottle fed babies, you cant see how many oz’s of milk they have consumed. My daughter always fed for only 5 minutes at a time, and I was made to feel quite inadequate by health visitors who told me I *must* make her have 15 minutes if I could. Well, try getting a baby who’s done to latch back on! I have a strong minded child, and a strong let down, and despite feeding for 5 minutes at a time on every feed, she has gained weight well. With my second, I will trust my instincts, and not feel under pressure from others around me.
9) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that it doesn’t look like how it does in the pictures…
We’ve all seen the images, baby looks longingly up into their mothers non sleep deprived eyes, sucking gently and happily lying in her arms. The reality, especially as baby gets bigger, is a wriggly baby, with one leg over your arm, getting distracted and unlatching at the slightest whisper, creak of a floorboard, or noise from the TV. As well as looking up at you, they are likely to be scratching your breast, throwing their hands in your mouth, or tugging on any jewellery they can get their hands on. I can’t think why that isn’t the standard breast feeding image? lol
10) I wish i’d known about breastfeeding, that they’ll be times you want to stop, and then when the prospect of stopping comes, you simply don’t want to.
I have on many occasions, after weeks of sleepless nights, exclaimed “I cant cope!” and pretended I was going to give up. In reality, I knew that I wouldn’t, as I enjoy too much the bonding cuddles and comfort that comes from feeding my daughter. This isn’t just a myth – its scientifically proven that oxytocin provides that warm and fuzzy feeling when you feed. Now, over 7 months in, the thought of stopping feeding her fills me with dread. I know I will miss every second of the experience when I finally have to say goodbye to my milk.
Overall, despite all of the above, I have enjoyed every step of my breast feeding journey, even the hard times. I know that not all women are able to breastfeed, and I know that ultimately mums should do what is right for them and their baby, whether than be breast, bottle or a combination of both. Whatever you decide to do, try and enjoy every moment, but go into it with your eyes open. Breastfeeding isn’t the easy option, but you will certainly look back with fond memories of those special times you shared with your child.
The best thing about breast feeding? Post feed milk drink cuddles… quite simply my favourite thing in the world.
Lucy xxx
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