Threenager Years and How to Tackle Them
Everyone knows about the terrible twos, and most, if not all parents of toddlers will, at times, experience the joys of the toddler tantrum. The complete meltdown over the simplest thing, the hyperactive yet overtired energy of a someone who missed their nap, or the embarrassing moment where you are completely and utterly humiliated in public (see – The Day My Toddler Made Me Cry). But you can be forgiven for hoping that when they turn 3 you can kiss them goodbye. Oh no, how wrong you are – the turn of 3 brings with it something far far worse, something that makes even the strongest of parents shudder in their boots. The Threenager.
Our daughter turned 3 last week (see https://realmumreview.comtoddler-to-threenager/)
What is a threenager?
So far Erin’s movement into Threenager territory has begun with the following characteristics….
Mood Swings
One moment, I am the best Mummy in the entire world. She comes and sits next to me (albeit usually when she wants something!) and gently caresses my arm. She tells me I am beautiful, tells me that she loves me, and tells me she’s missed me whilst I have been at work. The next, she refuses to hold my hand (far too cool to be seen holding hands in public), she prefers to walk 4 feet in front of me (the less association with “the parents” the better) and barely looks up from the iPad which has claimed as hers when I enter the room.
Fighting Sleep
Unlike teenagers, who would happily sleep for most of the day, (apart from the brief wake up for food and calls of nature), Threenagers appear to do the opposite. At times, despite physically waning, Erin refuses to admit to herself or anyone else for that matter that she is tired. Bring on the hyperactive running around in circles, the slight loss of balance and the slurring of words… but still, she is NOT tired Mummy, she is simply “needing a rest”. This over tired Threenager can be easily compared to a very drunk friend during the later hours of a Friday night on the town… she shouldn’t be trusted to maintain full bladder control, is likely to crash at ANY moment, and is most likely going to end up asleep without successfully removing their clothes.
Pretending to be a Vlogger
Like teenagers, my Threenager appears to have already developed an obsession with the world of technology, and appears to fancy herself as some kind of You Tube Vlogger. This particular Threenager is most at home with apple products (not in the Windows camp), watching surprise egg videos and can often be seen rein-acting scenes from You Tube such as  “Hey guys, TODAY, we’re going to open…..”. Mood swings (see above) will ensue if the battery dies half way through a princess Magiclips video, or if the Skip Ad button doesn’t work on first press.
Independence
Like most teenagers, the Threenager wants to maintain a level of independence, with largely mixed results. Firstly, Mummy can no longer decide what Erin wears from one day to the next and apparently a Party Dress or Cinderella Wedding outfit is now perfectly acceptable attire for the majority of occasions, including nursery or a trip to the supermarket. Sometimes, it is easier to simply let this go, to prevent the Mood Swings (see above), but at others, Mummy tries to maintain some kind of pride by beginning a 20 minute consultation and arbitration scheme to negotiate a Cinderella bracelet or necklace instead.
Now fully toilet trained (yay Erin), she prefers to visit the bathroom alone. God forbid I open the door half way through a poo to check that a) she’s finished b) hasn’t climbed out the window or c) isn’t checking if it’s chocolate. Any attempts to enter are met with a very vocal GET OUT MUMMY!!!, but in the next breath, if she needs her bottom wiping or can’t reach the step, it is frowned upon for Mummy to be too far away from required assistance.
Little Diva
Diva like characteristics seem to follow shortly after the onset of the Threenager period. This includes questions such as “are you serious??!”, exclamations of “whatever….” and regular placing of the hands on hips. We have also been known to delay a trip to the supermarket because she cannot find her lip gloss. Seriously.
Negotiation Skills
This is by far, the most challenging of the Threenager characteristics. The Threenager, despite their lack of experience in the world, have developed incredibly powerful skills of negotiation. Somehow, unbeknownst to the recipient, who remains blinded to their talents, they are able to negotiate from a “treat after dinner” to a “treat after one more spoonful of peas” to a treat after “one pea”, or even “one pea close to your mouth”. Soon one treat, results in two treats, or “just one more, two, three”. These negotiation tactics are met with what can only be described as Adorable Face – a well rehearsed butter wouldn’t melt face which makes your ovaries twitch and removes all memories of Mood Swings or Little Diva behaviours.
Despite all the above, I wouldn’t change these years for the world. The conversations I now have with my Threenager are quite simply adorable. It’s amazing how quickly these little people have their own little personalities and I am enjoying every moment of watching it develop. 🙂
Do you have a Threenager in your house? What’s the biggest characteristic you have seen so far?
Lucy x
